Change is something that seems to be more and more difficult for people to grasp. The fear around change for many is debilitating. There are small steps to change and much larger steps to take-there’s no right way to change- as long as it is taking place. Change leads to growth. Growth and contribution are two of the major keys to life- needs of the spirit. I will talk about contribution at another time.
Change brings about uncomfortable situations, feelings, and thoughts. Most people do not embrace this. It’s often so uncomfortable that people resist change possibly more than anything else in their lives. WE have become masters at dodging the process. Yet, fail to recognize it’s the only way to grow.
As a noun change is defined as “the act or instance of making or becoming different.” While it’s true that our brains prefer predictability, our brains are also highly adaptable- it’s fear that gets in the way. The fear comes from the running dialogue in our heads- the stories we tell ourselves. Get real quiet and listen to these stories- once you get quiet you will see how loud they are. The stories need to be modified. The “what ifs”, “what will they think”, “how will I get though it”, “how can I face myself”? And, all the other fear based strategies your brain comes up with to keep you stagnant and what it percieves as “safe.”
When you hear your storyline, remember that there are choices. You can choose to say what if? Or, you can choose to say I can do this, I will do this, I am doing this.
Be careful of the “change trap” as I call it. You can’t change yourself (at least not in theory). For example, If I say, “I want to eat more vegetables for my health” is a statement of behavior. Behavior can be changed. If I say, “Today it’s time I change and becme the type of person that eats more vegetables”- you’re not re-inventing yourself to eat vegetables as the second statement implies. The second statement brings out the fear- who will I be when I change into that person? Will people like me? What if I don’t like myself?….What will they think? (ultimately, who cares but that’s for another blog). Point is when we think about change as behavioral we often soften the fear.
Small behavioral changes = EVOLVEMENT.
And, frankly, that’s what we are ALL here to do.
Stop dodging the process because of your discomfort. Look it in the eye- face it.